Entertainment Today

As crazy, semi-coherent, typo-laden Twitter rants go, Kanye West’s often take the cake.

Today’s example is no exception.

The controversial hip-hopper went on a nearly three hour tweet bender Saturday morning, expressing in great, 140-character depth his thoughts on Taylor Swift and last year’s VMA debacle—and guess what? He’s “sorry” and he’s written the country music darling her very own Kanye West original.

“I wrote a song for Taylor Swift that’s so beautiful and I want her to have it,” Kanye tweeted in the wee hours of the morning. “If she won’t take it then I’ll perform it for her.”

This declaration came on the heels of an ongoing Twitter diatribe about his hard knock life in the public eye, and the trauma that came from his now infamous interruption of Miss Swift at the 2009 MTV VMAs.

“She had nothing to do with my issues with award shows,” he wrote apologetically. “She had no idea what hit her. She’s justa lil girl with dreams like the rest of us. She deserves the apology more than anyone. Beyonce didn’t need that. MTV didn’t need that and Taylor and her family friends and fans definitely didn’t want or need that.”

And Kanye didn’t stop there. Nearly a year to the date since “the incident,” the tweet-happy star is once again owning up to the error of his ways and attempting to clear the air–with Swift and the rest of the world.

“I am not a bad person,” said the redemption-seeking celeb. “Even in that moment I was only trying to do good but people don’t always need my help. I’ve hurt, I’ve bled, I’ve learned.”

But wait, there’s more. Continues a candid Kanye: “I only want to do good. I want to win there hearts back so I can continue to bring my take on culture to the masses with a clean opinion. It starts with this…I’m sorry Taylor.”

Bonus for all you non-Twitter types out there: An editor at the tech blog Gizmodo compiled Kanye’s apology-tweet jag in letter form.

The sweet Swift has yet to comment via her own awesome Twitter page, but we await her response with bated breath…or at the very least, mild amusement.

Follow @eonline on Twitter.

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Speaking of hot topics, have you seek Blake Lively’s cleveage lately?!

Tiffany Derry had a feeling the producers of Top Chef were going to make big deal about the close relationship she developed with fellow cheftestant Ed Cotton.

What we all didn’t know was what her fiancé thought of all that…until now.

I caught up with the Dallas chef earlier today to talk about last night’s NASA challenge, Angelo’s ego and that Ed thing…

I’m sad. Everyone I talk to is sad that you were sent home last night.
Don’t be sad. (Laughs).

Yeah, but it was because you didn’t take the skin off your peppers! Really? That’s what Tom had a problem with?
I thought with Asian no one takes the pepper skin off. Had I been doing something else, I would have…but it didn’t feel like that had anything to with my dish. I wanted a pepper with a bit of a crunch to it.

The challenge was kind funky and weird, don’t you think? Freeze-dried food for NASA astronauts?
It was weird. It was just weird from the get-go. I was actually thinking we would be making the food and then they would freeze-drying the food and serving it [to the judging panel] like that. I was like, “That doesn’t make any sense.” So I was confused from the very beginning.

Is Angelo as, well, confident as he appears?
Angelo is good. Being so good sometimes you don’t realize how you come across. I don’t think he has as big a head as it was played up.

I have to talk you about your laugh. You have the best cheftestant laugh…ever!
Well, thank you. You know, I had someone come into the restaurant and say, “Oh, my gosh—she laughs the same way!”…I was like, “That’s really me.”

What did your then-fiancé (they married on July 17) have to say when he saw how much they played it up between you and Ed?
One of the first times they did a little teaser for the next week and someone said, “Oh, if Tiffany’s fiancé knew!,” he turned around and looked at me with that one-eyed look. I was like, “Babe, come on!” He then started laughing. He always says, “I could put her in a room with 500 men and I know things will be just fine. I trust her completely.”

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In other reality television news, which former Dancing With the Stars contestant may be on the hunt for a new man? Find out here.

Samantha Ronson is beyond sorry.

“There is absolutely nothing I can say that will alter one minute of today, nothing,” Lindsay Lohan’s famed gal-pal wrote on Twitter tonight.

Ronson’s unusually solemn tweet was in reference to earlier today, when her pet bulldog, Cadillac, reportedly attacked a neighbor’s Maltese. The smaller pup is said to have died from its injuries.

“I feel incredibly sad and wish I could offer more than condolences, unfortunately there are no words to describe how sorry I am,” Ronson continued.

The incident occurred near the celebrity DJ’s West Hollywood apartment building.

Per TMZ, someone called 911 at 11:10 a.m. to report that a woman and a small dog had been attacked by a “pit bull.” The attack dog was later identified as a bulldog and its given home address matched Ronson’s.

Animal Control did visit the scene but left without Cadillac.

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Samantha Ronson’s dog is one of many Very Important Pets in Hollywood.

Remember when we floated the idea that Betty White should be in Breaking Dawn because she seems to be in everything else these days?

Not only did Robert Pattinson like the suggestion, but so did a lot other Twilight VIPS, including Stephenie Meyer, Kellan Lutz and Peter Facinelli.

And what about Betty? Is she game? Here’s what she told me yesterday on the Emmy Red carpet…

“I don’t think so,” she said.

Oh, no! Is Betty White a Twi-hater?

No!

“My schedule is so full,” she explained. “I can’t book anything more.”

That’s too bad. Not only would she make a great member of the Volturi, but freshly-minted Emmy winner Aaron Paul thinks she should also do a guest spot on his drug-fueled AMC series, Breaking Bad.

“I would love to see her on Breaking Bad high on crystal meth,” he said. “That would be epic—America’s sweetheart decides to do this crazy edgy role! I think it would be a good career move.”

Let the Facebook campaign begin.

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Relive all of last night’s awards show glory in our 2010 Emmys: Big Moments From the Show photo gallery.

The kings of Madison Avenue are still lords of the living room.

Mad Men was named Outstanding Drama Series for the third year in a row, showing the upset-craving upstarts, the vampires, the likable serial killers and drug dealers—and Lost—who was boss.

Complete list of winners at the 62nd Primetime Emmys

But though Lost went winless in in its final season and AMC kicked some major butt tonight across the board, ABC had plenty to celebrate.

Modern Family, the network’s one true breakout hit last season, made a nice, fat splash tonight, winning Outstanding Comedy Series and establishing itself as a viable contender in multiple categories for years to come.

In addition to earning a total of a half-dozen Emmys, the most for a broadcast-network series, the very award-worthy ensemble lent itself to one of the show’s funniest sketches, a play on a network’s idea of how to spice up a show’s plotline. (Hint: It involved George Clooney, lots of George Clooney.)

Anyway, on his first try, Eric Stonestreet earned the win for Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy, while Steven Levitan and Christopher Lloyd shared honors for comedy series writing to take Modern Familiy’s Emmy tally to six, including last week’s Creative Arts wins.

On his first try, Eric Stonestreet earned the win for Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy, while Steven Levitan and Christopher Lloyd shared honors for comedy series writing to take Modern Familiy’s Emmy tally to six, including last week’s Creative Arts wins). It helped power the Alphabet net to 18 total wins, second only to perennial leader HBO’s 25.

Going from ABC back to AMC, the men of Breaking Bad proved once again to be total badasses, with Bryan Cranston—once perenially overlooked  for his comedic skills in Malcolm in the Middle—winning his third straight Emmy for Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama and Aaron Paul snagging his first for Supporting Actor as Cranston’s right-hand meth cooker.

Mad Men mastermind Matthew Weiner made it three straight wins for Writing for a Drama Series, this time sharing the honor with coscribe Erin Levy. They helped push Mad Men’s total to four, and AMC’s overall tally to six.

Kyra Sedgwick finally made it happen in the Lead Actress in a Drama category, her fifth nomination the charm for her role as a sticky-sweet-sounding but tough-as-nails detective on The Closer. Plus, we’re always happy to see Kevin Bacon (and a Hollywood couple of 20-plus years).

A Big Bang was felt during the first third of the three-hour-plus show (which was handily split up into comedy, drama and movie/miniseries) when Jim Parsons upset, among others, two-time champ Alec Baldwin and Tony Shaloub in his final season as Monk in the race for Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy.

Parsons thanked creator Chuck Lorre, his costars, God, et al. for everything. “You are wonderful people, you’re so talented, you’re such darn hard workers…You’re more motivating than I could mention—but I just did,” he said, his Sheldon twang totally audible.

Edie Falco returned to the winners’ circle, scoring her fourth lead actress Emmy overall but first in the comedy section for her acerbic, drug-addicted titular role in Showtime’s Nurse Jackie.

“This is just the most ridiculous thing that has ever happened in the history of this lovely awards show. I’m not funny!” the former Sopranos star insisted. She can protest all she wants, but she is now officially the only actress in history to win both lead acting Emmys for comedy and drama.

Falco’s win tonight also gave Showtime—premium cable’s ugly stepsister for years—a record seven wins for primetime series. Psst, that’s more than HBO ever got in one year for its primetime series.

But though Showtime gained some ground, when you include Creative Arts categories, HBO couldn’t help but raise the roof after Temple Grandin (Outstanding TV Movie), The Pacific (Outstanding Miniseries) and other premium productions had amassed another eight trophies tonight for a network-leading total of 25 Emmys.

Claire Danes picked up her first Emmy for playing Temple Grandin, an autistic woman whose work with animals ultimately led to improved slaughterhouse conditions across the U.S.

Other first-time winners included The Good Wife’s Archie Punjabi, who topped her Tony- and Emmy-winning costar Christine Baranski for Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama; Julia Ormond, a Supporting Actress in a TV Movie/Miniseries winner for Temple Grandin; veteran character actor David Strathairn took the flip-side of that honor, also for Temple Grandin; and You Don’t Know Jack scribe Adam Mazer, the winner for Writing for a TV Movie/Miniseries.

“Jack Kevorkian, I’m so grateful you’re my friend, but I’m even more grateful that you’re not my physician,” Mazer told the infamous euthanasia specialist, who was sitting in the audience.

Another big, momentous first was Top Chef’s win for Outstanding Reality Competition series, a category that’s been dominated by The Amazing Race for the past seven years.

After shacking up with Stonestreet and Jesse Tyler Ferguson in the Modern Family sketch (not to mention Julie Bowen and Sofia Vergara), Mr. Clooney showed up later to become the fourth recipient of the Bob Hope Humanitarian Award for…well, you know how he rolls in the do-gooder category.

“[Bob and Dolores Hope], they’re the best versions of the term celebrity,” the real, live movie star said after accepting his Emmy from ER soulmate Julianna Margulies. “There are a lot of you here in the room like that. There are some of you that aren’t, a couple of you—you know who you are, don’t look around, I don’t want to name names.”

“It’s important to remember how much good can get done, because we live in such strange times because bad behavior suck up all the attention in the press,” the ridiculously debonair star continued.

“I’ve offered to go to the south Sudan and have a wardrobe malfunction, but the consensus was that, I’m 49 and it would just be upsetting and kind of sad,” he joked. “When a disaster happens, everyone wants to help…The hard part is seven months later, five years later…and honestly, we fail at that. That’s the facts. I fail at that.

“Here’s where we let some very bright person here in the room, or at home watching, figure out how to keep that spotlight burning on these heartbreaking situations long after the camera goes away. That would be an impressive accomplishment. Thank you.”

Other Oscar winners moonlighting as an Emmy winners tonight were Al Pacino, named Lead Actor in a TV Movie/Miniseries for embodying Dr. Kevorkian in You Don’t Know Jack, and Tom Hanks, who as a producer accepted the Outstanding Miniseries Emmy for The Pacific.

Alas, there was no awesome awkwardness during the handing out of the Outstanding Variety, Musical or Comedy Series Emmy, because the Academy opted to hand The Daily Show its seventh win in the category, rather than give Conan O’Brien a microphone with which to delightfully skirt the elephant in the room.

Happily enough, host Jimmy Fallon’s earlier jibe—”NBC asking the host of a late-night show to come to L.A. to host a different show, what could possibly go wrong?”—included a nice pan to a beard-sporting Conan.

And speaking of Fallon… Way to go! The at-times too wiggly for his britches Late Night host did a fine, fine job hosting the Emmys, from the opening number featuring the cast of Glee, Betty White, Tina Fey, Jon Hamm, etc. set to “Born to Run” to his three-song tribute to “shows we’ve lost this year,” Law & Order, Lost and 24.

“I thank the Academy for allowing a gay man to host the Emmys two years in a row,” offered last year’s stellar host, Neil Patrick Harris.

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See all the moments of joy in our 2010 Emmys Winners gallery.

Jimmy Fallon. Tons o’  stars. Tonight.

Hey, those are three pretty key things right there about the prime-time awards bash—and we haven’t even gotten to the actual informational list we prepared for your Emmys enjoyment! So, when do we get our trophy? After you get briefed. Here goes:

1. If you’re on the West Coast, pay attention: NBC is airing the festivities live, coast to coast, at 8 p.m. ET/5 p.m. PT. If you’re all-around curious, power up: Emmys.com and NBC.com jointly will be offering a live, backstage simulcast. 

2. The Pacific is already ahead, having won seven awards last weekend at the Creative Arts Emmys. Modern Family is on top of all series, with four. 

3. If it cleans up, Modern Family could tie the record for most Emmys by a show in its first season (nine). If it freakishly cleans up (i.e., all of its remaining nominated actors win via ties), it could smash the record. 

4. 30 Rock is on a three-year winning streak in the Comedy Series category; Mad Men is on a two-year roll in Drama Series. The consensus is that Mad Men will repeat again, and 30 Rock won’t. 

5. For a good show, by which we mean a fresh, surprising one, pull for our own Kristin Dos Santos‘ picks. In the Gold Derby blog’s Emmy predictions rundown, you’ll see her fighting the tide, and calling for Glee in Comedy Series, Breaking Bad in Drama Series and Friday Night Lights‘ Kyle Chandler in Lead Drama Series Actor.

6. The Conan O’Brien acceptance speech (should there be one) will be the night’s moment to watch for (unless it’s not). Stupid lawyers.

7. In the event stupid lawyers stifle and/or ruin O’Brien, then we’ll have to make do with George Clooney (humanitarian-award recipient) and Betty White (presenter, Creative Arts winner and the only being hotter than Clooney).

8. Fallon is farming out the writing on his presenter intros to the Twitterverse, meaning someone else besides the host has the task of coming up with something less awkward then, “On CSI, he knows all about the strip. In real life, er… Well, here’s Laurence Fishburne!”

9. If you’re a J.J. Abrams aficionado, you’re all over Gugu Mbatha-Raw. If you’re not, you may wonder why one Gugu Mbatha-Raw is presenting, so we’ll tell you:  Because (a) she’s in Abrams’ new fall series, Undercovers, which’ll air on (b) NBC, just like the Emmys. Television works in obvious ways.

10. Steve Carell (zero wins, eight nominations as of tonight) is a lucky man compared to Larry David, who has yet to convert any of his 10 career nominations for Curb Your Enthusiam into even a single statuette. And if you tell us David shouldn’t feel bad since he previously won twice for Seinfeld, then we’ll tell you Carell shouldn’t feel bad since Angela Lansbury, who’s not in the game this year, has lost 18 freakin’ times for everything she’s ever been up for. So, no, no sympathy here, either, for Hugh Laurie (zero wins, six noms), Jon Hamm (zero wins, five noms) and Kyra Sedgwick (zero wins, five noms).

Follow @redcarpet on Twitter!

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PHOTOS: Red Carpet Rewind: Emmys

The name Cy Waits has been everywhere lately, so who is this guy? Well, aside from the fact that he’s Paris Hilton’s latest boyfriend and he was also involved in the cocaine bust that occurred last night in Las Vegas? Here are five things you gotta know about this mystery man…

1. He’s More Than Just a High Roller in Sin City: This guy doesn’t play around in Vegas, although that’s part of his job description. Waits is a nightclub mogul, comanaging some of the hottest spots on the Strip, including Tryst, Drai’s and XS.

2. There Are Two of Him—Kinda: He has a twin brother, Jesse, who is also his business partner and rumored to be dating Brody Jenner’s ex Jayde Nicole.

3. He Was Considered a Hot Pick: Extra picked both Waits brothers to be on its  “America’s Most Eligible Bachelors.” Too bad they’re off the market now!

4. Cy Waits Will Use a Gun If Necessary: Last Tuesday, Hilton came face-to-face with an intruder at her home. Waits grabbed his gun and jolted to the scene, proving he’s her “knight in shining armor.”

5. Paris’s Parents Approve of Him: It’d be hard for any mom and dad to not like the man who possibly saved their daughter’s life, right? Word is, Rick and Kathy Hilton have known Cy for years and give this budding relationship their blessing.

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Both of these couples make cash money, check out some other celebrity cash couples!

Grab some popcorn, everybody—John Mayer has something to say.

“GO F–K YOURSELF!”

There, now. Wasn’t that worth it? Here’s what’s got his goat this week…

The Huffington Post. Specifically, its front-page story this week speculating on whether or not he and Jennifer Aniston were getting back together. (Gee, where do they come up with these things?!).

Though it’s not the speculation that irked Mayer. It’s that he expected more from the blog.

“Huffington Post, this is reporting?” he wrote on his tumblr. “How do you pay your writers now, in Silly Bandz? Do you meet your sources in a malt shoppe? This is equal parts fabricated, cobbled together and misleading.”

Partially because the quotes they chose to pull from his Hollywood Bowl concert in an attempt to prove the former couple’s reunion were, for the most part, song lyrics.

“Let’s break it down: I don’t think I ever said ‘I believe in second chances!’ but I can’t be 100 percent sure, as it’s possible I could have accidentally said something succinctly and to the point.”

No danger of that this time around, though!

“The next sentence is from the song ‘Half of My Heart’ in reference to the idea that meeting new people allows for hiding old mistakes…The sentence about texting comes from the show’s encore, ‘Edge of Desire’…two sentences about different things at different points in a concert.”

So why didn’t Mayer spread his ire to those other celeb rags that picked up the story?

“The reason I’m calling you out instead of all the other magazines that make stories up out of thin air is that In Touch and Star Magazine aren’t concurrently writing pieces about Pat Tillman or WikiLeaks. Those other rags know who they are, and even if they’re obnoxious, I’d rather have to live with them because they (and the rest of the world) know where they stand, which doesn’t make them one tenth as dangerous as you are.

“You’re a stripper wearing reading glasses. Or maybe you’re an insolvent law student willing to dance for a few extra dollars. Either way, it’s uncomfortable to watch you try to wrap yourself around a pole when you have that C-Span scar.”

Me-ouch.

Though Mayer at least did try to give the blog a bit more direction, going so far as to suggest a headline for the inevitable follow-up story based on his latest diatribe: “JOHN MAYER SLAMS HUFFPO: ‘GO F–K YOURSELF!’ “

Well, it does have a certain ring to it, but sadly not what the site went with in the end. Incidentally, the Huffington Post did manage to keep its priorities in check and in response to Mayer’s critique offered up the following riposte:

“He does not deny that he and Aniston are dating.”

Except, sadly, he did. (Sadly, that is, for HuffPo, not the thousands of women willing to overlook the occasional outbreak of douchiness in order to gain their 15 minutes).

At a concert stop in Irvine his week, Mayer set the record straight, calling himself “completely single,” and, once again, telling tabloids what they should be writing. That John, always a giver.

“If those magazines were right at all, it would say, ‘Sources close to Mayer say he’s having an awesome time with Internet pornography for about 45 minutes every morning.’ “

Hey, John? Consider it done.

Who knew Internet porn was one of The Many Lusts of John Mayer? Check out the rest in our gallery!